Self Inflicted Suffering


certain comments that are said are just to completely ignorant to even try and make sense of while other comments are completely profound… “you like to suffer” is a comment that was said from my mother to my step father for the longest time and as funny and as serious as the statement is,  later i thought about it and thought how completely true of a statement that is for most…

there was a guy i knew who said and did awful things to this women and when she left he would beg and cry for her to come back and when she did it only enabled this vicious cycle to continue for many years… in abusing her in every which way you could she would end up leaving and in that moment of being gone he would be completely upset with him self wondering why he would even do such things knowing she would leave every time.. its obvious that is the nature of abusive relationships, but i wondered if he enjoyed breaking his own heart, making himself cry and being pissed off at himself…

i wonder if people like to suffer by nature.. like the alcoholic and drug addict who most of the time doesn’t have enough to fuel their need or enough cash to support it.. and with an incredible high comes an incredible low.. but don’t seem to mind those moments of suffering and with drawling because in no time the suffering is gone and the vicious cycle continues..

the men who are abusive in every relationship cause for some reason they can’t control them self and then wonder why they can’t make a relationship last ..

or the cheater who can’t stop cheating and then wonders why they are always single…

the liar who couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it, and then wonders why nobody in his life believes any thing he says

or the thief who steals and then wonders why he doesn’t have anything to show for it…

the meth addict who wonders why his teeth are bad…

the easy girl who wonders why she hasn’t gotten married

seeing things people do and seeing that at some point in what they are doing there is a certain amount of suffering that takes place… seeing them do it time after time i wonder if they like making them self suffer…

when life makes you suffer there is always an end to it, but when you make your self suffer it’s because your completely content with it…


32 thoughts on “Self Inflicted Suffering

      • I’m trying to figure out why I was completely content to make myself suffer. When I sort out why I did that, then I can move forwards in preventing further self destructive behaviour. This post eloquently expresses the truth that ultimately, I am responsible for my own pain – or at least that which is related to recent events.

        Liked by 1 person

    • With many it is a Romans 7, recurrence. It is wanting to be good, but being caught in that vicious cycle. I know I’ve been there on almost everything you stated. There are many who, are so hardened, they have no desire to get out of it. But just as many who do feel true remorse and do want change. It is only with Jesus, that we can change and we have to seek Him and also feel a deep revelation of His Love for us. With myself once I truly felt His Love for me, I changed overnight and effortlessly. Because Jesus did all the changing for me.


  1. aqilaqamar

    I dont like the “easy” girl term because it is wrong in a society to encourage guys to sleep around but when women do it they are called well sluts. I know you are not being derogatory but in every heterosexual relationship the guy needs a girl and yeah he should thank the “easy” girl then for saving his so-called manhood.

    Obviously, a player doesn’t get married too. Sometimes he wants a meaningful relationship but can’t find a woman who will stay because amongst them he is “easy” too,

    And that is a sad that mainstream culture wants people to feel trampled and alone after all their lives 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  2. graeylight

    I wondered on this as well until I took the time to get to know some of these types… Unfortunately they are just ignorant. I felt so bad for trying to help them and leaving because of frustration, they didn’t do anything to help themselves. I am a firm believer in personal power “if you want something to change, CHANGE IT.” There are a lot of emotions rolled in to that: fear, uncertainty, sadness… I do the same thing to myself sometimes and realize (me) saying “WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF!?” The difference is I want to change bad enough it overcomes all the reasons to do nothing.


  3. This is quite an insightful post you have here but life never imposes suffering on an individual; it’s actually the individual who attracts it. I strongly believe if you constantly feel that you will create problems for yourself and potentially see yourself in situations that will continually make you depressed, then they will truly happen. It’s more of the individual that has control, the choice we make now can make the difference – it can make or break the opportunity of having better days ahead. Not trying to argue with you but hopefully give you another perspective, just something to think about. I just realized that your entire topic was based on self-inflicted suffering which is unfortunately a concept not many people accept. I respect you for accepting it and by trying to inform other of this by means of this blog.


  4. Even depression and misery can be addictive if it becomes familiar and comfortable. When loved ones enable a sufferer it only adds to the problem. For me, I put up with an emotionally abusive husband for ten years. I tried to talk but he ignored. When I was done, I was done. I never thought of going back and suddenly he wanted to go to therapy. But dead is dead. I am pretty much the same way about most things. I commit all or nothing. Half way is half ass. Good thoughts here. You are a very thoughtful young man.


      • Been married to my second husband for over 24 years. We have normal growing pains and challenges; but we are best friends. The first one liked to think himself romantic by buying me things I knew we couldnt afford and didnt want. My husband today is not a traditional romantic but he will get up and go get me chocolate ice cream if he thinks it would bring me a smile. Same for me with him. Love is about paying attention, not doing “the right thing” by the book. We are like two cats. When we get cranky, we just scratch it out and hang out in different rooms for awhile. Lol thanks for asking.


  5. Like Aqilaqamar, I am very uncomfortable with the term “easy girl.”

    You make a lot of great points, though. Your writing will be even more persuasive if you learn the difference between “your” and “you’re,” and other basic aspects of English. Have someone else proofread if you’re not sure of your usage.


  6. I found this post of yours very thought provoking. It woke me up a bit to the strong possibility that my niece is one of those that ” likes to suffer “. I’m thinking that she must be like this, since no matter how many times many of us who deeply care about her have offered her help, she still continues down a treacherous road of self-destruction. Every time I’ve offered my help, she has always had ” excuses ” for not accepting it. I hope and pray that one day she’ll have the inner strength she needs to wake up to this, and change her life for the better.


    • It takes time honestly. I can only imagine what she’s wrapped up in. Some of the things that were done in my life that I’d witness and think to myself “what the hell are they thinking” and it comes out in a joke from my mother “he likes to suffer that’s why he does that” i didn’t realize how true of a statement that was till I thought about it. Thank you for the comment. I appreciate it.


  7. Thanks for sharing this from the heart, Teddy. It had to be agony to be a kid in that household. I appreciate your stopping by my blog post “Ending Suffering,” too!


  8. I think that for some people suffering is intertwined with strong emotions that remind them they are alive and they are there. Its a reminder that their body is still there. complex situation for sure.


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