Not so Manly


as a teenager i could some what tell at first and then it just became completely obvious the abuse mom was going through.. how i managed to maintain the amount of self control i did and not hurt him is beyond me…. then out of no where my grand-Father tells me ” a man who beats up on women are not only not real men, but don’t have the balls to fight other men”…

seeing first hand the tears build up and the moment they fell down her cheek and then drip off her jaw line eventually wiping away her face and smearing her make up in the process and then cleaning the tears and make up off her hands… you could almost feel her pain as she spoke..  mom wasn’t the only one i seen go through those moments life for some reason would show me a few more.. it seemed like every girl i knew was getting abused and most of them found some kind of comfort in talking to me about those moments…. in them telling me how there boyfriend beat them up or called them names i could never wrap my mind around what they could have possibly done for that so called man to feel she deserves that …

i feel like part of the reason men bully women is because in some distorted way they find women a challenge… abusive men must seriously think women could put a good fight and hold their own.. i have seen more often then not the abusive man have this big mouth and these fighting stories that some people mistake for being manly, yet when another man calls out this abusive man he completely cowers down and does whatever it takes to avoid getting his ass whipped… and in moments like that i wished the girl he abused could see him cower away so she could see for her self that he’s no man at all… the fact that he walks away from a fight yet waits to bully his girl around shows how less of a man he actually is…

there must be some kind of ego fix that takes place when a man bullies a women.. feeling as if it’s appropriate to put his hands on a girl it must completely stroke his ego to see her upset and afraid… i can’t imagine how that could possibly make a man feel more like a man…

they always excuse that behavior and then manage to turn it around and make it seem like she provoked the whole thing and therefore had it coming.. either out of guilt or completely trying to justify the fact that they get off on abusing women… these men are jokes for men, and an even bigger joke to think people like that change…




12 thoughts on “Not so Manly

  1. aqilaqamar

    Men are encouraged to fight and be aggressive. Women are not. Many a times a girl does not physically fight back because if her relationship is ruined it’s always mostly her fault. The same with abusive women; the men try their best to make it work and the women threaten them of police arrests and what not when they haven’t lifted a finger or even hurt them in any way.
    These barbaric people need to understand that their bullying cannot satiate anything and that it will implode on them.
    Thanks again for a great read


  2. Thank you for calling out the victim-blaming that all too often accompanies domestic violence, as well as the variation in gender scripts for what it means to “be a man”. I’ve read that one reason some men physically abuse women is that those men feel they’ve been disrespected in some way (either in the company of their wives/girlfriends or around other men) and attempt to compensate for their perceived loss in power by asserting physical strength over vulnerable partners.


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