Creating Your Own Fate

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Karma… I was told growing up that what i did to other people, people would do to me or if i stole i would have my things stolen…

When i was barely a teenager i would See thick stacks of 100$ bills tucked away in cabinets or in the bathroom or what appeared to be a book but when i opened it up it had the middle taken out and was filled with 100$ bills and every time i saw piles of cash like that i thought to myself their not gonna notice 2 or 3 hundred dollars missing but every single time i took it within minutes they came looking for me… I couldn’t get away with it, i got caught every single time….

I was a few months away from turning 18 when i started working and I didn’t want to open a bank account i preferred just to keep cash and hid it in certain spots i thought no one would find.. every check i cashed i started noticing i was missing money, 20 here 40 there sometimes even more and i was pissed off every time because i didn’t make that much, and after awhile of getting my money stolen i thought, how mad could i possibly be at that… karma was collecting the debt’s i owed… but i began to wonder if karma showed favoritism and was more lenient on some and went into full force with others.. I knew i stole a lot and had a lot to account for but i stole from crooks and plus i was a kid… it took me being a little older to realize that whether i was stealing from a crook or an honest man that karma was karma….

i wondered why it took place so quick with me and yet with others who had done far worse things within the family it took so long for karma to make its presence known with them… maybe karma expected more out of me that’s why it came so quick…. for awhile it seemed the more evil you were the longer or less likely karma came around..

I thought that until one night while i was out i got a phone call from my mother who informed me that someone had died…From what i am told this person was hit by a vehicle and didn’t die right away, this person suffered for quite sometime….. In being hit, it crushed their chest and completely paralyzed this person.. This person was left in a wheel, on an oxygen tank to assist their breathing, bags that filled when going to the bathroom and could hear but couldn’t speak…

i saw this individual after the accident and noticed how completely different this person looked… i saw someone vulnerable, fragile, frail and completely helpless… i thought about the moments as a child in the locked garage when not just my clothes were stripped but my life was completely stripped and shattered… i struggled for so many years from the demented things i was put through, i remained silent and didn’t want to talk about those moments and i saw how life took their voice… Those moments haunted me all my life and at times when i saw this person their was a look of fear in their eyes like maybe the accident played as a haunting memory , or perhaps the things this person did to me as a child were haunting their memories… those moments this person hurt me i was completely helpless and for awhile this person sat very helpless… i saw how life made this person feel everything i felt… This person had their way with me as a child, but life now had it’s way with this person…

I realize now that at some point life catches up with everybody, it shows no favoritism like i thought and goes after some quicker than others.. i see karma leaves no debt uncollected.. it takes time to set up that moment for karma to go into full effect….

75 thoughts on “Creating Your Own Fate”

  2. lissy1417

    Wow this is so true. I completely agree with you. Sometimes it does feel like bad people get away with so much more then everyone else and it always makes me wonder where the justice is? But I guess you never really know when karma is going to strike or how hard the hit will be. I like the way you worded it when you said “it takes time to set up that moment for karma to go into full effect.” Heres to hoping it never takes to long!

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  3. Well said. We always want instant justice when we’ve been wronged and bounds of mercy when we are the one doing the wrong. It’s in our nature to want an ‘eye for an eye’. What we don’t see is our lives in the bigger picture, we can’t. We can only see a small radius.

    I had the same experience and thoughts with my father. After all the horrible things he did, it always seemed he got away with his crimes. Yet, near the end of his life, I had reached a point where I prayed mercy for him.

    This life is too short to hold onto anger and hurts. Just know, that Karma always collects in one way or another. We are not the judge or the enforcer. We all reap what we sow.

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    • That’s true TLGray… I realize that now, certain things weren’t for me to know, judge or enforce like you said… I’m always excited to hear from you, thanks for the comment 🙂

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  4. I love reading your blog. Just know that your vulnerability is a great encouragement to help other bloggers, such as myself, be more open. Our wounds might not ever completely heal but being able to share our experiences in a community such as this sure does help to build up some much needed scar tissue.

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  5. This is so true. I now think if someone does me wrong, that I should leave it up to God to decide. I think waiting for bad karma to visit someone, is like asking for revenge. It only poisons your heart, when it is their heart that should be malfunctioning for the wrongs they’ve done. So now, I just move on.

    We shouldn’t judge, because we don’t know what’s happening in their lives and why bad or good karma is on their side. There are times when bad things happen to amazing people, and we don’t know why. Maybe they were bad at some point, maybe they’re so good that evil wants them to wish harmful thoughts, so that bad karma will always be on their side.

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  8. themidwestgypsy

    Karma isn’t always something we see, and when we do see it it’s because that individual has forgotten to hide his vulnerability. The very fact someone does something evil from stealing (excluding your experience) to murder is an evidence of karma. They live with karma everyday. Hell isn’t a place we go to, it’s something we carry around with us. I’m so sorry that was your experience of a family member, but so proud of you for sharing it with us. 🙂

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  9. thats true teddy, Karma does take some time in to effect, From what I understand it also accounts for all you good deeds you may have done in the past.

    There have been many times where I had wished that karma struck instantly, if that were the case then it might be hard for all of us as well. In some way we won’t want our mistakes punished quickly and immediately.

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    • Thank you for the comment. It’s funny because I didn’t have a take on karma when I started writing this post and as I was writing about what he went through before he died I started noticing the similar things with what I went through and the things he was suffering from during that year. I looked at karma a little for the first time today.

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  11. If you have back tracked through my logs you will know that I was sexually abused from the time I was four until I was ten. Your work resonates in so many ways with me. But you and I friend, and many others, take what was horrid and turn it into compassion we can offer. I’m so proud to see you doing that here.

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  15. You have a beautiful writing style…I get the sense that as you discuss such difficult events in your life, your heart is maintaining a sense of peace. I don’t know if that is the case, but your tone encompasses…strength.

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  19. That gave me a lot to think about. Many times I’ve wished my grandfather would have “got his karma”. But he died before I was old enough to confront my situation. Perhaps I should take more peace in knowing God is handling it for me. Glad you write straight from the heart I enjoy reading your posts.

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  21. This is true, but unfortunately, some people never realize that karma is actually coming back on them for something they’ve done. They think they are the world’s biggest victim and that it happened out of nowhere.

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  22. complicitgrace

    Am waiting for Karma to kick me in the ass for the poor choices I made over the last four years….I’m due for a good spanking 😦

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  23. Rafe the Necromancer

    This may not exactly be the best place to post this, but I did not see another area on your blog where this post will fit, so here goes! I have presented you with Dragon’s Loyalty Award! This is an award that goes to bloggers with noteworthy blogs, and as someone who greatly enjoys reading your blog, I nominated you, along with some others. For more info on how to accept it, visit my post, http://rafethenecromancer.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/the-dragons-loyalty-award/.
    I really appreciate how often you frequent my blog. You are one of my most active followers, so I thank you so much.

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  24. Marinka

    Hi, I’ve nominated you for the Liebster award! For details, please visit my blog! Spread the love, cheers 🙂 (P.S. I think you saw the nomination on my blog already, but I wanted to post anyway..I couldn’t find your About Me page though, so I’m posting here!)

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  25. You may or may not like awards… but I nominated you for five awards! You can check out my post, I am a rebel and don’t follow all the rules. I simply list the ones who nominated me, list blogs I have not passed awards to recently, and then tell the nominees, that if you wish to know more about me, read more posts. Congratulations and enjoy! Smiles, Robin

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  27. Kari I.

    Well- not the first nor the last time for this… I scrolled through the replies and couldn’t find one dissenter?? I love your writing Teddy, hate the experience that gave you the ability. It feels wrong to “like” this post, for example. But I do not believe in Karma. Good people don’t get hit by cars? Good people don’t die in the end? Bad people don’t have good things happen? How does Karma explain that? Just another god/religious type theory, with a twist- in my opinion. I am so sorry that happened to you though Teddy. Thank you for sharing more of yourself. x

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      • Kari I.

        Hey Teddy. Well it doesn’t feel right to “like” writings on things that are awful happenings, you know what I mean? Hey, I like that you were abused before you knew what those places were fully about, Teddy! *Sarcasm. Of course I can like you writing about it, and what you say about overcoming it. I know (I think…) you did that for me.
        Thank you hon. x Now for the second question: I think the same happens to good as it does to bad. It’s all up to life- we have some choices and bad people hopefully some go to jail (though the definition of bad is subjective) but we can choose to be around only people good to us. That has to do with what kind of life we can have- our quality of life. But the rest is just situational. The same things happen to good people as bad, and vice versa- excepting any legal issues- and I know many good people with legal issues, unfortunately. Does that all make sense or am I off the campsite here? 🙂

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      • Yeah that makes sense about the “like” I never really about it like that.. i get what your saying it makes sense. I like your *sarcasm to by the way kari. There’s nothing more attractive then a sense of humor. Your completely on the campsite 🙂

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  31. What a very powerful piece! I, too, believe in karma and had often wondered why it seemingly left bad people untouched when others felt karma come in to effect quickly. I never thought of looking at it this way. It now makes sense. I had a foster mother who was horrible to me and everyone who was unfortunate enough to touch her life and she died a simply horrible death. I now look back on that experience and know that karma did finally catch up to her, it just took some time.

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