his palms were firmly pressed down on an ice chest, his knee’s were slightly bent as if he was so accustomed to that position he was stuck in it, he was fully clothed but his pants wrapped around hes ankles like a form of shackles were confining him to that moment in time, the blood dripping down the back of his thigh was still as red as when it first happened… and his eyes, completely expressionless as if the moment the penetration took place it punctured his soul and left him lifeless in that moment in time… he was locked in that moment, stuck in a position so vulnerable, and as i walk around him i wondered the ways to help free him… i soon realized that this person i was starring at…. was me.. i seemed to have forgot all about him…
i started seeing not just that piece of me locked in that moment, but other violent moments shut me down, then locked me up…
i wondered if the person who penetrated me or got physical with me turned me to stone, hoping those moments would forever stay still, silent and long forgotten… perhaps i locked myself in those moments hoping i would forget it all together as a form of self preservation….
how do i unlock those moments in time, and if i could, would i want to? Does anything good ever come from unlocking Pandora’s box? or do i have the power of the outcome…
Did he in those moments want to be unlocked? was he waiting for me to remember so i could comeback to him…
i knew in unlocking that moment that memory would have to play itself out, but doing so was essential to healing… i had no control over what took place, so i withdrew from those moments to protect me, my sanity, or maybe my soul.. no key unlocked it, only willingness to heal those moments unlocks it… healing that moment, would allow me to move forward…
While time never stands still, i became locked inside a moment in time… .